A Mama's Throughts

I will have to admit the last few days I have been thinking a lot about Nash's development. Some good and some bad thoughts... In the midst of everything sometimes it is hard to stay 100% positive.

Many times I find that we are on a bit of a roller coaster ride... Some good news and some bad.... Some ups and some downs. Some days I cope better with bad news the others. After beating myself up a bit I think... Reality check... Don't we all do this??? YES... We are human...

I just have to share some of my thoughts, cause I think they are important... I think someday Nash may or may not read the rambling throughts of him mama either think wow... she is nuts or there is some truth in the words and thoughts of his mother.

So the reality is this... Nash is now three.... He speaks some, but not what we call "normal." He sings praise songs all day long... Even waking up in the night singing... When he is happy he sings... When he is sad he sings... When he is hurt he sings... You will hear him singing... Holy Holy Holy Lord God Almighty; OUr God is an Awesome God, Amazing Grace; How great is our God; and Jump Jump for Jesus... He will sing entire verses... Sentences are hardly ever spoken, but he can sing. You ding him in his room laying on the floor or swaying to praise music. He turns on his CD's and just praises God. I think often... WOW do I need to be more like Nash... He is the one who has it right.... How awesome is his spirit to Worship God no matter what... It is truly amazing....

In the light of all this... I hear things like, he is not fitting on the age range of this cart, he needs to do this, why isn't he talking more?, why is he singing, he needs to do more more more. You need to work more more more....

My mind nearly blew up today.... We work and work and work. More more more. On the way home from running an errand, while Nash was with a sitter... I heard a song... Well part of a song... I was focused on developmental issues with Nash... What I heard loud and clear was something about... "Viewing others through the eyes of God." BANG... It hit me and tears began to flow. If I were to look at Nash through the eyes of God... I would see a good and faithful servant... I would see a kid who is far closer to God that myself and millions of others. I would see a kid who is a true example of Christ. I would see a miracle... I would see God and His love, peace, joy, patients, kindness, and goodness. I would see how we are suppose to live... I would see Christ.

Suddenly the flood gates opened... I thought if only the rest of the world could look at my child (God's Child) through God's eyes. They would not be so quick to judge him or place him on some chart or say he is not "normal."

Ahhhh if only I as him mother and could only continue to see him through the eyes of God. If only I could help the rest of the world see him through God's eyes then maybe just maybe they would accept him as a child of God and not a disabled kid. Because isn't it really we are the ones who are disabled????